Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Telemarketers - Are You Really That Stupid?

I have a business line at home. This type of line is not exempt from the FTC's Do Not Call list, so I am destined to deal with telemarketers.

For the past four months or so, I have been getting phone calls from a toll free number. No one calls from a toll free number except telemarketers. But when I pick up the call, all I hear is, "All our representatives are currently busy. Please hold the line for a representative."

Do they really think people are going to do that? Do they really think people will hold the line just to hear what they have to say?

Telemarketers have been trying to reduce abandon rates - the percentage of people who hang up because there's no service rep on the other end of the phone when their phone rings and they pick it up - since the 80s. Haven't they figured this out yet?

This isn't rocket science. If you're going to use an automated dialing system to get people on the phone, then make damn sure there is a representative on the line when they pick up!!!

Why should I wait for you? What do I care about why you're calling? I don't!

Ninety percent of the time I don't even pick up the call and stubborn as they are, they keep calling back. Today I picked it up just for the heck of it to see how long it would take for a representative to pick up. I waited four seconds after the recording.

Are you kidding???? I don't care who you are or what your reason for calling is. If you can't get it right, you don't deserve to speak with me. Besides, I am absolutely certain I don't care why you're calling - even if you're one of my favorite charities. I don't need to speak to you on the phone. I can go to your website.

Some day, telemarketing as an outbound service will be extinct. And the killers will be the marketers who couldn't figure out how to get it right.

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